The time is here, the place is now...

Finally.....I'm back in the land

of the living. Computer is fixed (I think)

The last post was a brief mention of my

angel girl's 9th BIRTHDAY!!!!

Her entrance into this world is quite a story,

in and of itself...And her wonderful nine

years on earth have reflected it as such.

She came to "life" 4 weeks early, albeit a 6 pounder,

and really healthy so the due date was probably off

somewhat..Her actual date was April 12th, 2002 but as

is her style of "doing it her way" she entered the world

on March 16th at 1:16 am. Both of my angels came "after

midnight", as the song goes. It, of course, was fine with me

as I am quite the night owl by nature....Just like my post about

Jax's birth, I was ELATED to have the baby with me, instead

of being pregnant...Not that pregancy isn't a wonderful miracle,

I just wanted my baby. To see what it would be, boy vs girl,

to hold what I found out was to be a "her" and to know she was safe

and healthy. I almost had to give birth to her myself (JK) as my Doc

and the rest of the staff were quite into March Madness Basketball.

It was either Duke or North Carolina playing and the stakes

were high for those docs glued to the TV in my room.

As well as the friends and family

that were there to "hang out" and wait with me :)

Labor started fairly early and I became increasingly

uncomfortable while doing laundry, etc and playing with

Jax-man on the morning of March 15th...I didn't really feel any huge pain, just

uncomfortable.

No position was working and so I called the nurse, who said my

voice gave her the impression that I was possibly in labor.

After calling Layney's father, who was sporting his

newly restored "chick magnet" around town,

69 Camaro (Burgundy with White/black houndstooth interior),

sweet vehicle indeed. My sweet neighbor, Erika, knocked on the

back door and wanted to show me her brand new BIKE!!! In

my head I'm thinking, ok, The chick mobile won't be here

for twenty minutes, I have no bags packed (remember it's a month

early and I'm usually a month late..lol), I have a 1 yr old

in the crib napping and a friend with a new bike....Needless to say

I totally went into my "Wyndy up against a wall" mode..ooohed and aahed

about the bike while at the same time asked my neighbor to hang with Jax

until his grandmother could get him, etc.

In rolls the chick mobile, and off to the hospital we go, yes I rode in

that sporty camaro and loved every minute if it. Always have loved

those muscles cars and always will.. I kept saying i really

didn't feel like it was time yet and was truly concerned the

hospital would send me home, that i had messed up my neighbor and

was already feeling guilty for infringing on anyone, including the driver

of the chick magnet (DAD)....lol

Needless to say, we went in to Baptist, I carried my own stuff...haha

they checked me and said I was 4.5 centimeters so it was time for sure.

Oddly enough, we were put into the SAME room, 412, that I had my first

in...That was a good sign to me, indeed....then my brain started

wandering about the date etc. It was March 15 around 5:30 (a friday eve),

I had no idea if MY doctor was gone but hey, on a friday what are the chances.

I asked about Dr. John and was told he was gone...No time to worry as the call

back from brother Lee said his buddy Roman was on the way to do the epidural

if I wanted it, and also by that time my daddy, step mom and friends had

arrived. Then all of a sudden Dr. John came through the door with a little

bit of attitude...JK. He said WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME....Of course I had to

laugh and said everyone said you were a goner and we joked about it.

He ended up giving up his Friday night, staying there with us the whole time,

even though he was not on call, just to bring my baby girl into the world.

How kind was that!!!!

Back to the date thing, I have always loved the bible verse John 3:16...and

my mind started wandering. I thought this may be interesting if this baby

waits until after midnight but as I was not going to get my hopes up, and

really did want this to be done as fast as the Lord was willing....lol

It did enter my mind about the verse...So in fact, My girl, Layne Elizabeth

was delivered by John on 3/16 at 1:16 am. How cool is that, at least to me

anyway!! There was and still is a precious framed small John 3:16 someone gave

for a gift and it has always been in her room. She knows that verse and knows

she was delivered by Dr. John. She thinks it's cool too :) And Both babies

it's neat that they were born in the same room. Boy am I Blessed!!!!

It's been a long time... 9 Years, in fact :)

Honestly it's been a long time... My youngest was born nine years ago on March 16... UNREAL! It was truly a memorable day -night... One that's deeply embedded in Mind... All was fitting for her entrance into this world... And it has been an amazing journey. Indeed... More to come when my computer is fixed :) wyn

When your rearview mirror is broken....You can only look forward!!!

I can;t believe how long it's been since I posted.  Of course, having a broken computer put a damper on my ability to Get 'er done, so to speak.  It's been quite the roller coaster around here with Jellybean turning ten, Halloween festivities and upcoming Thanksgiving Holidays!!  Yeah for the break we all will have from school.  I am taking an indefinite break from nursing school and getting back to Focusing on my Family.  They are the ones who need my undivided attention now as third and fourth grade homework is quite different from when I was young.  Seems to me they are learning things that I learned in 8th grade or so.  A tremendous amount of material for them to cover, understand, and be able to do well on their tests.  It's even overwhelming for me.  This is entirely why I took a break from Facebook as well as blogging.  Yes the comp is having issues but really My time Will be better used by being there to help these precious ones with their studies etc.  We're back to playing school, which I LOVED as a child.  Santa brought a great easel last year and jb and PNUT are the teachers.  I'm loving being the student and they love the attention.  My sweet neighbor came up with this idea as she helped her sister by "teaching' her.  It's working great so far!!!  Kids so crave attention from parents and it's so nice to be able to spend time with them and let them know just how important they are.  :)

I can't say enough about how blessed I feel.  Lately I have been talking with so many Friends, both old and new and quite a few have said I'm getting my smile back.  It feels so nice to hear that from those who are on the outside looking in.  Especially from those who have been there done that.  I unfortunately have just one close friend who feels differently and is really, in her own way, trying to be kind but it may be that there just is no way for someone in her shoes to understand what wearing my shoes is like.  I am concerned about this friendship and am praying it will survive.   It may take me faking that everything is perfect, always, in order to  keep it going.  Only God knows what the outcome will be.  I for one am hopeful  :)

As for the babies, each and every day is a trip.. Never a dull moment and they make me smile more than anything else on earth.  Lately our furry babies have been doing so well with potty training that they can now sleep with Jellybean and p-NUT.  It is one of the cutest things to walk in their rooms and see my babies sleeping and each one has a furry pup curled up right beside them.  I AM going to learn how to post pictures soon, as really you'd Love seeing them. Or if not, I know I WOULD...lol

 I hope this post finds all of you well and I wish God's blessings on you and your families.....

God Bless our service men and women, past , present and future.  Happy Veterans day and a huge thank you for providing us with our freedom.  Bless the families of them also and especially those who have made the ultimate sacrifice....In Him, I am so very Thankful....

Ya know...it's WAY LATE!!!

Heaven's, what  a week it has been..My oldest turned TEN, yes 10, on Monday.  WOW!!!!  an incredible decade.  Hard to believe but yet so true.  He is some kind of awesome and truly the best man i know, on earth.   More helpful than a ten yr old should be but somehow he knows when  I need help.  An uncommon trait in such a small, young man.   Either way, I'll take it.  He hung decorations for Halloween, yes wielding his very own, brand new HAMMER, which meant things are here and there but HE did it.  And bless him,  I was and am THANKFUL !!!!!  Honestly, both babies could tell I wasn't in that mood for Halloween,   it was so easy to know.  Every time they asked about gering out decorations, I kept saying tomorrow....they knew tomorrow wouldn't come so in spite of what I said, thy indeed went to the garage (keeper of all things), found the STUFF and began to decorate our tiny small house.  I kept hearing giggles and the such but just was not in the mood, so to speak.   I stayed inside doing laundry and the like.....THEN, like it was CHRISTMAS or something...they came in SCREAMING>>>>>MOMMY,,,you HAVE to see our work.....I'm thinking what..I'm the one working.....still they grabbed my hand's, yes Jax had one and Layney had the other and they dragged me out of the laundry room, led me to the porch, made me close my eyes and lo and behold....it was all DECORATED!!!!!!!!!!!!  lights, luminaries, tombstones, and such....Granted things are in no order, in fact some things are just there....but my kids are happy...they are fulfilled and have a sense of accomplishment.  I think That is what it's all about...More later on my baby boys birth....It was WILD!!!!

OFF THE CHAIN, indeed !!

I must admit, this blogging thing is really becoming fun, not to mention life itself is starting to come back in full force.  The timing must be right, the stars aligned and it has to be graced by God or it would not be.  I journal so much but it's different than blogging, no one sees it or reads it AND, OF COURSE, IN MY JOURNALS, there are some pretty ugly things.  Some that have been done to me by "friends"/ex-family and some I have done/felt also.  When I write my autobiography there will be so many people who finally "get it"...lol

 I'm in the NOW mode, the live life each day with passion and intent, with love and kindness, with generosity and thoughtfulness and most of all empathy.

This is different, life is different, feelings are different and I am different.  In a good way.  I have just experienced my first fun filled weekend, mind you I'm speaking of a weekend in which my children are with their father, in close to three years.  When I say it like this, I want those of you to know that I have had many fun "moments", thanks to invites to do things with people who knew I was alone, thanks to activities I been able to do with others and a few by myself, but an entire weekend of feeling great and being with those I love just hasn't happened, except for the weekends I do have my children.  I am more comfortable when Jellybean and P-NUT are with me, always and that won't change.    The truth of the matter is, I want to be with my children as much as possible and I am able to be there for and with them all but 8 days a month, a blessing indeed.  They are my heart, simply said.

Back to the "Off the Chain" headline..lol.  I love this saying and use it quite often. Being off the chain can mean so many different things (good or bad, hahha) and in my particular case it means GOOOOOOOD!  God provided me with the strength this weekend to do many things, by myself, but with others.  Do you get that???  I was BY MYSELF BUT WITH OTHERS.  Not that I haven't met friends for dinner and a movie, or gone to a friends home for a cookout or things of that nature.  Those are "ok" to do by myself.

What I know now is different...  I can do life, I can do this life without being scared or anxious about going to functions without a buddy to figuratively "hold my hand" for the first time in, really, forever.  You see it really was "Off the Chain" for me.....

I am Finding Me, and so far it is good  :)

Romans 12:12.  A mantra for me right now, could be for you too.  CK it out and by all means get "Off the Chain" and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

To blog or not to Blog...Question answered...LOL

Boy it's late here at my home.  1:54 am to be exact but that's not at all stopping this blogging from happening.....I have a few things to say, so here goes....It has been one of the best days I have had and really the weekend looks to be equally as good.   The clean windshield has really done a number on my life and that will just trickle down to my kids, friends and family.  Sure to be good for all!!  Friendships continue to be come and go, especially any new ones or those that cannot handle depth, but that is good.  Really,  My time on earth is limited by my maker and that being what it is, I want to put forth ALL that I can towards the things that matter most.  In that I know where I am....I wonder how many know where they are.  Would love to hear from those that feel like talking or commenting. 

Tomorrow is not just another day....that adage needs to be put out with trash...there is so much more.  I would love for my Lord to come back to get us and move us on to the best place there is..Heaven, of course, but in my case I vow to love, honor and cherish those around me.  I vow to be there in any way possible, and to do for others in the way I have to.  I m getting back to me, finding me, so to speak, and this is the best feeling in the world, or on earth, that much I know is true.  Have good days and if at all possible, make each and every one count.

It's not a matter of counting the years, It's a matter of making the years COUNT....

Life, as it happens...

As I have watched life unfold and been in the passenger seat for so long, really, paying attention to anything, except my children, was just not important to me.  Surrounding myself with the love of true friends and family was what the Doctor ordered, therefore it worked well and I was a good "patient".  I have been there for every single thing for my two little gifts, ready to take on whatever comes our way and continue the path that will lead us where we need to be.  I will continue to do this same thing but will be altering a few things, dropping some baggage and smiling as I do  :)

In coming to the surface, recently, I have certainly been shocked and amazed at the way life "goes" for so many...The ostrich is out of the sand and well aware of what goes on around me.  The subtle hints and innuendos are so not subtle !   Self entitlement abounds, narcissism is rampant and is there really any truth except what you believe to be true????  And then again, what is it that you hold true and right?  That being said in such a negative way (you think), finding your true self and realizing just how many people are in your life, not for something they can talk about later, but because they lift you up, love and truly care, is breathtaking.  There really is a reason some people from your past don't make it to your future....OFTEN TIMES MANY GOOD REASONS!! 

In my case, time for family, time for my kids and most of all time for my God is priority for me.  Everyone is so different and that's a wonderful thing.  We need differences in life in order to make sense of things and become aware of more than one perspective.  Without having the things that happen, good or bad, becoming aware of "life" would not happen for most.  The world of Narcissism continues to grow and that deeply saddens me.  Especially in light of the fact that I am raising an 8 and 9 year old.....especially due to this.  I see so much good, but there again lies the old adage...."what you don't know, won't hurt you".  I need to do some googling and find out who coined this, as well as what it's true meaning is.  Reason being...I disagree with it, insofar as to say what you don't know really can hurt you and even more, what you find out can almost kill you...IF you let it.  Point being, be strong in your faith, whatever that may be, and even moreso be strong in yourself.  This life is so worth living and being a part of.....It makes me "on my knees"..... Thankful!!!